I've Worked Myself Out of a Job

You will notice that my postings on this blog are sporadic, and half of them are cross-posted to another site. This is because my initial focus of this blog was to talk about parenting my children, who were born very close together, with an Atlanta spin/focus.

Since then, a friend and I have started our own website on Baby Bunching, the term we use to describe having children close together. We are working on a book on this topic and the idea is that the site will help drum up some buzz for us. So if this topic applies to you or someone you know, check it out and pass it along!

I have also started blogging for Deep South Moms, which has a little bit more of a regional/geographic focus. In addition, my personal blog, The Fox Factor, covers the antics of my Little Men in far more detail than anyone except their grandparents would care about. Even their own father doesn't read the blog - no joke.

So that leaves me with not a lot left to say on this blog. But I will keep trying!

Today's nugget of advice for parenting in Atlanta was inspired by a jaunt down to to Centennial Olympic Park. To celebrate the end of summer (er...I mean, the start of school), some girlfriends and I took our assorted offspring down to the park to play on the playground and cool off in the fountains. Downtown parking is a rip-off. When heading to this part of town, I always park at the lot at the corner of Centennial Olympic Park Drive and Harris Street (the one that USED to be $5 with your Children's Museum ticket stub). Unfortunately, that lot now charges something outrageous like $2 for 20 minutes or something - last week I paid $13 to park there for two hours when we went to the Children's Museum. Today my friends introduced me to the lot on Simpson and Centennial Olympic Park. $5 for all day and not the least bit sketchy, like some downtown lots. Woohoo! This lot provides easy access to the park, the Children's Museum, World of Coca Cola, and the Aquarium! Although there was an attendant roaming when we got there but he was gone by the time we left, so be sure to bring cash for the cashbox system.

Also, a quick plug for the Children's Garden/Playground and All Children's Playground if you haven't been down to these yet. Two playgrounds in one convenient location, with the splash fountains a short walk away to cool off on a warm day! Add plenty of greenspace for picnicking and running around and you've got a nice outing for the kiddos.

War Games

I'm over at Deep South Moms this week, talking about some of my kids' favorite games. Check it out!

Third Time's A Charm

We recently added our 3rd boy in 4 1/2 years to the family. Nowadays, since having 3 children seems to be equivalent to having 100 to most people, the question I get the most is, "So...how is it having THREE?". The answer: a hell of a lot easier than having one or two.

Like most first-time parents, I was a nervous wreck when my first son was a baby. Lacking knowledge or confidence, I relied too heavily on the advice of grandparents (outdated at times), parenting books (too regimented) and the pediatrician (mine didn't even have kids!). As an extreme Type A personality in my pre-baby days, I fretted about developing/sticking to schedules and assimilating the new baby into "my" life - not realizing that my life would become him. Don't get me wrong - I loved him with all my heart, but I worried about things in the beginning like making sure he ate every 3 hours on the dot and not holding him too much so he wouldn't get spoiled. Everything took forever and it took me 2 hours to get out of the house to go anywhere. I followed manuals and advice like they were the law. On the advice of my pediatrician, I (stupidly) Ferberized him at 2 months old. I refused to put him in the Exersaucer a minute before 4 months, since that's what the manual suggested. I made all his baby food, and not a drop of sugar, juice, or anything artificial crossed his lips until the bite of his first birthday cake. When he was 4 months old I remember thinking I would never get my life back. Just around the time that I started to settle in and get comfortable as a parent when he was 7 months old, I found out I was pregnant again.

With baby number two, I was in a baby and toddler-induced fog. I was more confident, for sure, and I moved more quickly. With an energetic 17 month old to entertain, I was out the door and back at playgroups by the time #2 was a week old. But it took a minimum of 5 trips to the car to go anywhere - carrying baby, toddler, diaper bags, strollers, my purse, snacks/drinks, etc. So we we were pretty much limited to one outing a day. Breastfeeding was a miserable failure because I couldn't sit still long enough to feed or find time to pee if I drank the requisite amount of water needed to make it a success. The baby had tummy problems, so he cried for the first 6 months of his life and refused to be consoled by anyone except me. My single biggest concern was getting everyone on a sleep schedule that overlapped enough to allow me a 1 hour break in the afternoon and at least 6 uninterrupted hours at night. This time around, I enjoyed the baby furtively during middle of the night feedings - during the only quiet time we had together. And yet, I was relieved when those middle of the night feedings went away so I could get the sleep I needed to function during our very hectic days. As much as I loved the baby, I celebrated when he turned 18 months old and things started to get easier.

The third time around, I opted for a longer spacing of 3 years between #2 and #3. And I am in heaven. I have never been so glad to be a Baby Buncher, a term my best friend and I coined for having our children less than two years apart. My two oldest function as a unit and keep each other entertained so I can spend endless hours holding, loving, and drinking in the baby. This time around, I hold him around the clock without fear of spoiling him because I know that eventually he will push me away so he can catch up with his brothers. Instead of rushing nursing sessions, I let them drag on for an hour while I smell him, rub his head, and kiss every part of his body. When he has an issue of some sort, instead of rushing to call the doctor or the pediatrician, I trust my own instincts on what worked or didn't work the other two times. Instead of rushing back to playgroups, I've holed up in my house for the past two weeks (and may take another week or two) to just enjoy getting to know the newest member of our family. I let friends bring us dinner. I let my husband play with the big boys. I let laundry and housework pile up guilt-free - I've realized that it will always be there, but these baby moments are so fleeting.

My husband and I have pretty much decided that this will be our last child, so maybe that's why I'm so sentimental this time around. Or who knows - maybe I'm in a honeymoon fantasy land and my bubble will be burst when my newborn "wakes up" (seems like it happened around week 3 with my other boys). Either way, I'll treasure these moments with my third baby forever. It seems I've finally realized what a true blessing and gift it is to be able to bring new life into the world.

Baby and Me

In anticipation of Baby Boy #3, I signed Boys #1 and #2 up for the Baby and Me class at Northside Hospital. This class is designed to help Big Siblings -To-Be understand what to expect with a new baby in the house and how to "help" care for a new baby. Yesterday was the big day of the class, and hubby was out of town so that left the boys and I to go it alone. Boy #2 barely met the age minimum of 3 (ok, he won't meet the age minimum for three more weeks but they didn't ask for his ID and I didn't want him to feel left out so I fudged a little), so I was a little worried about how he would do. As it turns out, my fears were not unfounded, but he could've done worse.

Our first luck-out was when the instructor informed us that our class was the smallest class in the history of Baby and Me (it was just my boys and a 7 year old girl). The instructor seemed disappointed by this fact, but I am convinced that it was God's way of sparing other children and their parents the experience of "learning" with my children.

This one-hour, "fast paced" (as described in the course material) starts off with the instructor distributing a sibling scrapbook/coloring book and crayons for each child to take home for later. This was Instructor Mistake Number One. Boy #2 got sidetracked by the fact this his crayon box was slightly different than his older brother's and spent the rest of the class fixated on how to get crayons "just like my brother's". Halfway through the class, he finally let go of it and spent the rest of the class taking his Crocs on and off and trying to push his own stroller around the classroom.

Boy #1 (age 4 1/2), to his credit, paid attention and even seemed to absorb critical information! His attention only wavered when I busted out my camera to capture pictures of him changing a baby doll's diaper, at which point he insisted on using the camera himself to photograph every baby doll in the class.

The main points of the class can be summarized as:
-Don't touch the baby's umbilical cord stump
-Ask mom or dad to hold the baby
-Wash your hands before holding baby
-Sit all the way back in your chair to hold baby
-Tell mom and dad when you are tired of holding baby, don't just drop him on the floor
-How to change a diaper (I never would've guessed that with 3 and 4 year old assistants, I might be able to avoid changing a single diaper this time around!)
-Seeing an actual newborn baby in the nursery (the only baby available was a girl and my kids were unimpressed)

As a bonus, when you complete the class, you get a coupon for a free McFlurry at the Northside Hospital McDonalds. Since both boys were really good (for them), we hit the McDonalds and used one of our coupons to split a McFlurry three ways, pocketing the others for use when the baby is born. As we enjoyed our McFlurry, I asked each of the boys what their favorite part of the class was. Boy #1's response: "This is crazy! There's a McDonalds in this hospital!"

Boy #2 retained more than I thought, because when I quizzed them today on the tips offered in the class, Boy #1 could only remember to wash his hands and ask to touch the baby. Boy #2 busted out with "Wiggle, wiggle, bum to the back!" (the instructor's rhyme to help children remember to sit all the way back in their chairs when holding baby).

I would highly recommend this class for other, more focused Siblings-To-Be. There is even a more advanced, in-depth, 1.5-hour Baby and Me II for children ages 7 to 10. Check out Northside's class listings at http://www.northside.com/medical_services/Maternity_Parenting_Classes.aspx to register.

Boys of Summer

It's officially summer in the Fox household. Even at this young age, my boys seem to sense the freedom that long, lazy summer days offer. They have this inexplicable pull to be outside, even in the sweltering Atlanta heat, and they are determined to dart out to the backyard every time I turn my back on them. They can be found, at any hour of the day where there is daylight (and often pushing into dusk), running around the backyard shoeless and sometimes shirtless, depending on the heat. There's no shortage of adventures to be had outside. We have a small fleet of cars and bikes, ranging from a Little Tikes motorcycle all the way to a tiny toddler BMW convertible. When they're not playing "cars", they're graffitting the driveway with sidewalk chalk. When things get a little warm, they fill up the water table and take turns either splashing each other or standing in it. In between, they take breaks for bubbles, matchbox cars, and Popsicles, occasionally running in the house to get more toys, snacks, or drinks. Pretty much the only time they stop playing in the backyard is when we pack up and go for a break from the heat at the local pool.

They've always been all boy, but this summer they seem to have a Tom and Huck air about them - hair sticking up, dirt smudged on their faces, scabby knees, bruised legs,and of course, dirty feet since they refuse to wear shoes for backyard adventures. They smell of sunblock and chlorine and their hands and faces are sticky from all the watermelon, Popsicles, and lemonade. They play like wild men all day and then collapse from exhaustion into bed at the end of the day.

Their enthusiasm for the summer is infectious. I've staked myself a spot on the screened-in porch underneath the ceiling fan where I can supervise their antics in a cooler setting. I sip tall glasses of lemonade and flip through a magazines while they play. I try to resist the urge to wipe dirty faces and feet every time they come onto the porch to show me something (usually a bug of some sort). I've officially given up on keeping the floors clean (thank goodness we got hardwoods this spring - no more carpet to worry about!), rolling up the area rug in our living room and resigning myself to the bits of outdoor debris that seem to migrate inside during the boys' cooling off breaks.

I know that by the time September rolls around, we'll all be ready for the routine of school again, but for now, it feels awfully good just to be experiencing the summer little boy style.

Buying Baby Happiness

I must have a lot of spare time lately, because I have been reading like a fool for the past two months. Unfortunately, I have not been using this spare time to post on this blog, but I did stumble across the perfect blog topic the other day in the course of reading. A friend of mine lent me a copy of Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul - a quick read that's worth a flip-through for any parent with the perception of excess time.

The subtitle of the book says it all: How We are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers - and What It Means for Our Children.

I found the topic of this book particularly interesting as someone who has always wanted a "lot" of children (defined by me as 4, defined by everyone else I know as more than 2). I have always been surprised by the number of our friends and acquaintances that were shocked to hear that we wanted more than 2 kids - most of them citing financial reasons as their main rationale for stopping at 2. This surprised me mainly because the bulk of them are solidly upper middle class (and still upwardly mobile).

It never occurred to me to stop having kids because they were too expensive. I figured that as long as we could provide for basic needs and a few luxury extras like the annual summer vacation, an occasional pair of the "right" jeans, and dance or karate lessons all around, we were golden. Kids have been sharing rooms and wearing hand-me-downs since the beginning of time - surely it isn't child abuse to expect the same of my kids? When I wanted a car at age 16, my parents sent me to work as a lifeguard at the local pool to earn the privilege. When it was time to go to college, I chose the state school (Hook 'Em Horns!) over the private school I wanted to attend and got accepted to (Go Irish!), mainly because it was about $23,000 a year cheaper. And I turned out OK, right?

But it turns out that what's good for the goose and the gander is not necessarily good for their gosling in this day and age. Parenting, Inc. explores why our generation is increasingly feeling like we can't afford children. Because we are constantly assaulted by advertising for products that we we need in order to raise our children to be not only successful, but competitive with the other overachievers of their generation that are being groomed as we speak. The book covers so many products, services, and classes available for tiny tots that I ended up skimming half of the book because my senses felt assaulted by all the overstimulation. Imagine how our three month olds feel when we toss them into a steady stream of Gymboree, Music Classes, Baby Einstein DVD's and Tiny Love Mobiles.

The book makes a valid point - that by raising a generation of children that are constantly stimulated by toys and activities and are accustomed to being the center of attention, we are setting them up to be a generation of kids that care about having things instead of relationships. In addition, we are denying them of the opportunity to develop any real creativity or problem-solving skills. Which, in turn, will result in children that are are restless and unhappy because they are so dependent on instant gratification. So in the quest to keep our children happy, we are, effectively, robbing them of the ability to create their own happiness. It's worth spending some time thinking about before you totally write off the idea of that third kid...

Busy Week

Crazy week...cross-posting again. Check out my post on the recent study about the correlation between a mother's diet at conception and her baby's gender.