Three of a Kind In a Full House

A Family Conversation at Last!

2009-01-13T23:23:00.005-05:00

Tonight was a milestone in our household - our very first dinner where all of us (well, us and the two oldest boys) participated in a full-fledged conversation. Typically, our "family conversations" go something like this:

Hubby: Boys, how was your day at school today? What did you learn about?

Boy #1, age 4: It was great! We went on the playground.

Boy #2, age 3: Playground - lalalalalalalla! (opens mouth to display food for all parties at the table to see) We play cars on playground - lalalalalal (more food display)

Boy #1 (laughing): HAHAHAAHAHH! I SEE YOUR FOOD!!!! Mommy! Drew's not eating like a gentleman. Nobody wants to see your food in your mouth, Drew!

Boy #2: Lookit my food on the table, Cade! (spits food out)

Me: Drew! That's enough! That's time out for you - please leave the table and I will call you in three minutes.

Dinner concludes.

But tonight, all four of us managed to communicate on a singular topic. It went like this:

Me: Honey - I was in the Best Buy shopping center today so I thought I would stop by and pick up that Guitar Hero III game you saw in the paper on Sunday for $20. I wanted to surprise you, bu they were sold out. I was totally bummed.

Boy#1: Daddy already get Guitar Hero!

Me (surprised): Oh, really? When?

Boy #1: When we went to look at TV's!

Me (surprised again): Oh, really?

Boy #2: It doesn't work with our guitar!

Me (suspiciously): Oh, really?

Hubby (sheepishly): Yeah. It turns out that you can use Rock Band with Guitar Hero guitars, but not vice versa.

Me: So now we have the game, but no guitars to play it with?

Hubby: Pretty much.

Boy #1: Don't worry, mommy! We can just buy more guitars!

Boy #2: lalalllalalallala (opens mouth to display food). Look Cade! See my food!

Ok, so it ends the same, but look at all the progress we've made in the beginning of the conversation!

New Year, New Name, New Focus

2009-01-02T21:49:00.005-05:00

One of my New Year's resolutions was to spend more time blogging. Although I love to write and supposedly blog for four different blogs, the arrival of Baby #3 this past July has significantly cut into my available writing time. All all of my blogs are neglected - this one, I'm sad to say, the most severely. Even the name (Two Kids Two Close) is outdated since the aforementioned third child arrived almost SIX months ago. I've written before about my struggles to find material for this blog. So as part of my resolution, I'm taking another stab at not only updating the name, but trying to give it a renewed focus.

It occurred to me the other day that I spend a lot of time trying to figure out how in the hell to parent boys. Being a girl and further, the oldest in a family of all girls, I really don't know anything about boys. Getting to know my husband over the past decade or so has provided some insight, but not much,since his ways are often still a mystery to me.

At Christmas, my aunt sent me a copy of Dr. James Dobson's Bringing Up Boys, probably in the hopes that I would read it, catch a clue, and get some control over my kids. Although I have absolutely NO time to read and if I did, I would be starting the uber-addictive (or so I hear) Twilight series, I figured it was in my best interests to clear time for this reading material before I do some permanent damage to my kids. I am about halfway through it, and I've already gained some valuable insights, which I will share in my next post.

But for now, just thought I'd kick off the year by announcing my new and improved focus for this blog - parenting all boys. And who knows, since I've experienced living in a family of all girls, I may throw in a little compare/contrast here and there. Stay tuned for lessons learned from Dr. Dobson later this week and Happy New Year!

Win a Moby Wrap!

2008-11-20T09:30:00.001-05:00

Seems like I have lots of friends in the Atlanta area with new babies and you guys gotta get one of these - the Moby Wrap. We're giving one away over at Baby Bunching - drop by and comment before Sunday 11/23 to enter to win one!

A Million and One Reasons Why I Love Target

2008-10-19T23:42:00.003-04:00

It's no secret that I love Target. In fact, since I had children, I shop there pretty much to the exclusion of everywhere else except the grocery store. It is one of the great sorrows of my life that my Target is not a SuperTarget. But hey - it recently got a Starbucks, so I'm not complaining.

Today I found another reason to love Target. They were the presenting sponsor of Woodruff Art's Center's Free Family Day. We decided to brave the crowds and drag the kiddies to this event in Midtown after church today. What a fun time! Plus bonus points for scoring a free parking spot right in front of the High Museum!

My oldest son's favorite activity was the instrument petting zoo, where he got to check out wind, brass, and string instruments. He was mildly disappointed that percussion instruments were noticeably absent, but that was remedied with a quick trip to the African drumming room.

There were tons of crafts - kids were able to make swords and scabbards, their own mini-museums, instruments, hand puppets, and bucket hats (my son went back three times to keep adding to his before the masterpiece was finally deemed "finished"). There were sidewalk murals and chalk drawings in front of the High. There were performers galore, courtesy of Young Audiences. Admission to the High Museum was free, although the only thing my kids were interested in there was running up and down the spiral ramps, which pleased the staff of the High to no end, as you can imagine. There was an Atlanta Symphony Orchestra performance (which we missed because my kids were hyped up by then and we figured we should spare the ASO the pleasure of their company in the audience). And a ton of other stuff that we never even got to. We were there for three and a half hours and we probably did a third of the available activities.

We finally left only because my middle son was literally falling asleep on one of the Target bullseye doormats in the common area. I think it was a bit much for the poor little guy. But all in all, a beautiful way to spend the day and we hope they do it again next year!

PS - Did the Target free day at the Children's Museum as well earlier this summer - not as many "extra" activities but a great way to see the museum for free - just be sure to get there early or expect a line.

Parks Galore

2008-10-15T13:29:00.002-04:00

Fall in Atlanta is my absolute favorite time of year. Maybe it's because I grew up in Houston, which has exactly one season - summer - but there's nothing I love more than to be outdoors in the crisp air with the changing leaves.

Even though it's still a little early and warm for fall, Atlanta's optimal playground season has already started. With the stifling summer heat behind us, our family is enjoying a triumphant return to our favorite area playgrounds!

We always like to learn about new ones, so I've posted some of our favorites in the hopes that you'll share some of yours.

Piedmont Park - The new Mayor's Park playground is awesome! With lots of fun equipment and soft rubber (read: no wood chips) surfacing, it's worth hours of entertainment. Plus, ride your bike or push the stroller around the park when you're done. Bonus: the newly re-designed playground now has a conveniently located and clean restroom right next to it - yay!
Centennial Olympic Park - read my post on this from a few weeks ago. So much fun that we actually went several times even in the summer heat because you can cool off in the fountains afterwards.
Brook Run Park in Dunwoody -multiple playgrounds for big and little kids and lots of space for dogs (or little boys, in our case) to run. Also features a Children's Adventure Garden.
East Cobb Park - multiple age-appropriate play structures, bike/walk trail around the park, clean restrooms, a babbling stream for wading, plus plenty of open space for picnicking and kicking a ball - what more could you ask for?
Chastain Park - play on the equipment or walk the trail around the park. If the ball fields nearby are empty, your little ones can poke around there and kick/throw a ball around.

We've also got our favorites here in Smyrna, where we live, but we like to take advantage of the weekends to explore new parks in other parts of town. Share your favorites that are drive-worthy!

Clifford, Junior League of Atlanta, and Super Why

2008-09-30T11:56:00.001-04:00

Saturday was a big day for us. We started off at Barnes and Noble to check out a special event featuring Clifford. After a Clifford reading and a visit from the Big Red Dog himself, we scored Clifford's "autograph". Somehow my kids just weren't in the mood so it was kind of a bust for us, but other children enjoyed it. And we did get Clifford's paw print "autograph", which is going to show and tell with my oldest son this week.

On to the Junior League of Atlanta's Building a Better Community Week Fire Station Ice Cream Social. Held each year at the Moore's Mill/Howell Mill fire station in September, this event was started post-9/11 as a way to honor our community's fire fighters. Kids have a chance to check out the fire engines up close, interact with real-life heroes, and enjoy tasty ice cream. The firefighters get really into it and even put on a little demonstration for us where they extended their ladder all the way and climbed to the top. I was volunteering for this event and my kids arrived just after the trucks had to leave on a call, so they missed the truck action. But my oldest informed me that since his last birthday party was at the fire station, he was really just there for the ice cream. Which he enjoyed immensely. Event was a hit.

Last stop of the day - Happy Healthy Kids Day at Georgia Public Broadcasting. This free event was open to the public and featured storytellers, bands, magicians, face painting, crafts and games. We went because my kids are HUGE Super Why! fans and the gang was making an appearance, along with Word Girl, Curious George, Clifford (on tour in Atlanta that day, apparently), and Princess Presto. I'm not sure if this event has been held before or not, but I kind of thought it would be us and 5 other people. Instead, half the city of Atlanta was there. The place was packed and we even ran into several people we knew. By the time we got there, Super Why! had long since gone, but we did wait in line 40 minutes to see Curious George. It was a little crazy since the event was spread across 4 floors of the GPB building and almost everyone there had a stroller, but there were fun crafts and activities for the kids. Probably more appropriate for pre-school/early elementary kids than older school-aged kids. A major shout-out to all the GPB staff and volunteers - they were unfailingly polite and helpful and really made everyone feel welcome. I hope this event repeats next year and I hope they move it to a bigger/more horizontal venue. Thanks, GPB!

Baby Faire a Bust for Me

2008-09-29T23:42:00.002-04:00

Promised an update on Baby Faire, but thanks to my own personal baby, the past week has been so crazy that I am waaaay overdue for a post. No time for a ton of details, but here's the upshot:

There were less vendors than I expected and frankly, less free stuff. I paid $8 to get in and I'm actually not even sure if I got $8 worth of free stuff.
I did get one cool thing - check out my product review post on Baby Bunching for Toddler Bites, a nifty gadget I picked up at the Faire.
I was a little miffed because they fooled me into registering on a computer up front, claiming that vendors would "scan" my bar coded name tag and automatically enter me in drawings to win free stuff. Instead, only two vendors actually had scanners. So I ended up filling out cards at the places where I wanted more information and every other vendor got my information whether I wanted them to or not. Plus I paid $8 for them to get it. AND I didn't win any free stuff. Bummer.
There was some kind of anime convention going on at Cobb Galleria at the same time as the Baby Faire. Weirdos dressed up in costume + babies = sketched out parents.

The verdict: Graco, Chicco, Babies R Us, Medela, Playtex, Avent, Dr. Browns, and others all had extensive booths with tons of products. Great event for first time moms looking to get info for registering. Not so much for third-time moms.

Fun for Mommy and Baby?

2008-09-17T18:33:00.005-04:00

On Saturday, the wee one and I are planning to attend the American Baby Faire. Let me say in advance that I am not endorsing this event, as I've never attended. But it's another one of those things I've been meaning to do for years. Friends of mine have been in the past and raved about all the freebies and good info.

Given that it is 10 minutes from my house and hubby is willing to watch the big boys, the little one and I are going to give it a go. Freebies, baby toy testing stations, a designated nursing area - what could be more baby and mom-friendly?

I'll post a review after the fact, but just wanted to give y'all a heads up in case anyone was interested in going!

Trying Something New, Part II

2008-09-07T18:03:00.005-04:00

On Saturday, I attended a book signing for Sleep is For the Weak that was exciting for two reasons:

I got to meet fellow mommy bloggers Kristen Chase, Mir Kamin, and Rita Arens
I got to go to Beehive Co-Op, a store I have been meaning to go to since it opened, basically, but just never have.

In a sad twist of irony that is the perfect ending to my Decatur Book Festival saga posted earlier this week, it turns out that some of the contributors to Sleep is For the Weak were actually AT the festival last weekend when I was there, so I could've saved myself an extra trip. Ugh. But hey - at least I finally got to see Beehive Co-Op!

The upshot of the excursion was:

It was nice to leave my house, where I have been holed up with my new baby for the past 6 weeks. As a bonus, the weather is a little bit cooler than it was 6 weeks ago - fall is on the horizon!
It was exciting to meet rock stars of the mommy blogging world.
The book is cute and worth a read - an entertaining compilation of essays on parenting from a host of mommy bloggers. My favorite section was the last one, entitled "Personal Growth Blows".
Beehive Co-Op is awesome and worth a trip - tons of unique, one-of-a-kind locally made clothing (children and adults), accessories, and home decorative items. Unfortunately for me, I had my baby in tow. He HATES the car, so when he woke up halfway through the excursion I had to haul ass home because I knew I was living on borrowed time before he freaked out. So I definitely plan to return without him some day.

All in all, my second attempt to try something new this week turned out WAY better than the first. Probably because I had two fewer kids with me.

Trying Something New

2008-09-07T17:30:00.005-04:00

This week I had the rare opportunity to do TWO new things in Atlanta that I have been meaning to do for several years.

Last weekend we packed up the crew and made the trek across town to the Decatur Book Festival. I've seen advertisements in the AJC for this for years and it's always looked interesting, but I never made it in my pre-baby days. Once the boys were born in rapid succession, we pretty much avoided any event that contained any combination of the words "Decatur" (across town), "Book" (who has time to read?) and "Festival" (frequently not stroller-friendly).

But we were desperate for something to do besides the pool or the same old parks we hit every weekend, so off we went. The verdict: if your family is like my family (i.e. two high energy pre-school aged boys), wait a few years to check it out.

The festival purports to be family-friendly and while I would not say it was family UN-friendly, there isn't a whole lot to do for small kids. For some reason, I was hoping there would be an army of children's literary characters that my kids could talk to, like Arthur (whom I find annoying as hell when I have to read him but awesome when he is live and in person and entertaining my kids), or a Harry Potter magic show or something.

Instead, there was a craft tent sponsored by Target and a children's stage with children's authors. Which would've been cool except the author that was there when we were there seemed to target tweens and not preschoolers. There was a children's parade and children's authors/musicians earlier in the weekend, but we failed to check the lineup so we missed those. There were several booths selling children's books, but they were crammed in close proximity to each other and had high traffic flow, making it difficult to find a way to navigate the stroller containing our youngest so the two oldest could check out books. Of course, it was hotter than Hades, so my middle son proceeded to show signs of a heatstroke almost as soon as we got there, and we had to stop and feed and water him. So at least I can attest that the Decatur Book Festival has great food vendors.

There was a whole section of book vendors that my husband and I (both avid readers in pre-baby days and even now, when we can squeeze it in) both gazed longingly at. But alas, it was not meant to be - our bunch was ready to go home, so we had to bail.

All in all, the outing was a pseudo-bust. I say "pseudo" because on the bright side, our newest addition, who has barely slept since he was born 6 weeks ago, sacked out in the car and slept through the whole thing. Ahh...blissful silence from him so we could focus on the incessant yammering for treats of the other two.

To add insult to injury, when we got home my husband checked his email and saw that he had gotten one about a super-family friendly event involving bouncies, kid-friendly freebies, and tons of family-friendly vendors - the Family Festival at the Labor Day 10K Classic. Which is held less than 10 minutes from our house. Ouch. Oh well. Maybe next year.

This post turned out to be longer than I intended, so stay tuned for details on my other Atlanta excursion later this week...

I've Worked Myself Out of a Job

2008-08-18T19:14:00.002-04:00

You will notice that my postings on this blog are sporadic, and half of them are cross-posted to another site. This is because my initial focus of this blog was to talk about parenting my children, who were born very close together, with an Atlanta spin/focus.

Since then, a friend and I have started our own website on Baby Bunching, the term we use to describe having children close together. We are working on a book on this topic and the idea is that the site will help drum up some buzz for us. So if this topic applies to you or someone you know, check it out and pass it along!

I have also started blogging for Deep South Moms, which has a little bit more of a regional/geographic focus. In addition, my personal blog, The Fox Factor, covers the antics of my Little Men in far more detail than anyone except their grandparents would care about. Even their own father doesn't read the blog - no joke.

So that leaves me with not a lot left to say on this blog. But I will keep trying!

Today's nugget of advice for parenting in Atlanta was inspired by a jaunt down to to Centennial Olympic Park. To celebrate the end of summer (er...I mean, the start of school), some girlfriends and I took our assorted offspring down to the park to play on the playground and cool off in the fountains. Downtown parking is a rip-off. When heading to this part of town, I always park at the lot at the corner of Centennial Olympic Park Drive and Harris Street (the one that USED to be $5 with your Children's Museum ticket stub). Unfortunately, that lot now charges something outrageous like $2 for 20 minutes or something - last week I paid $13 to park there for two hours when we went to the Children's Museum. Today my friends introduced me to the lot on Simpson and Centennial Olympic Park. $5 for all day and not the least bit sketchy, like some downtown lots. Woohoo! This lot provides easy access to the park, the Children's Museum, World of Coca Cola, and the Aquarium! Although there was an attendant roaming when we got there but he was gone by the time we left, so be sure to bring cash for the cashbox system.

Also, a quick plug for the Children's Garden/Playground and All Children's Playground if you haven't been down to these yet. Two playgrounds in one convenient location, with the splash fountains a short walk away to cool off on a warm day! Add plenty of greenspace for picnicking and running around and you've got a nice outing for the kiddos.

War Games

2008-08-08T16:40:00.001-04:00

I'm over at Deep South Moms this week, talking about some of my kids' favorite games. Check it out!

Third Time's A Charm

2008-08-06T12:34:00.003-04:00

We recently added our 3rd boy in 4 1/2 years to the family. Nowadays, since having 3 children seems to be equivalent to having 100 to most people, the question I get the most is, "So...how is it having THREE?". The answer: a hell of a lot easier than having one or two.

Like most first-time parents, I was a nervous wreck when my first son was a baby. Lacking knowledge or confidence, I relied too heavily on the advice of grandparents (outdated at times), parenting books (too regimented) and the pediatrician (mine didn't even have kids!). As an extreme Type A personality in my pre-baby days, I fretted about developing/sticking to schedules and assimilating the new baby into "my" life - not realizing that my life would become him. Don't get me wrong - I loved him with all my heart, but I worried about things in the beginning like making sure he ate every 3 hours on the dot and not holding him too much so he wouldn't get spoiled. Everything took forever and it took me 2 hours to get out of the house to go anywhere. I followed manuals and advice like they were the law. On the advice of my pediatrician, I (stupidly) Ferberized him at 2 months old. I refused to put him in the Exersaucer a minute before 4 months, since that's what the manual suggested. I made all his baby food, and not a drop of sugar, juice, or anything artificial crossed his lips until the bite of his first birthday cake. When he was 4 months old I remember thinking I would never get my life back. Just around the time that I started to settle in and get comfortable as a parent when he was 7 months old, I found out I was pregnant again.

With baby number two, I was in a baby and toddler-induced fog. I was more confident, for sure, and I moved more quickly. With an energetic 17 month old to entertain, I was out the door and back at playgroups by the time #2 was a week old. But it took a minimum of 5 trips to the car to go anywhere - carrying baby, toddler, diaper bags, strollers, my purse, snacks/drinks, etc. So we we were pretty much limited to one outing a day. Breastfeeding was a miserable failure because I couldn't sit still long enough to feed or find time to pee if I drank the requisite amount of water needed to make it a success. The baby had tummy problems, so he cried for the first 6 months of his life and refused to be consoled by anyone except me. My single biggest concern was getting everyone on a sleep schedule that overlapped enough to allow me a 1 hour break in the afternoon and at least 6 uninterrupted hours at night. This time around, I enjoyed the baby furtively during middle of the night feedings - during the only quiet time we had together. And yet, I was relieved when those middle of the night feedings went away so I could get the sleep I needed to function during our very hectic days. As much as I loved the baby, I celebrated when he turned 18 months old and things started to get easier.

The third time around, I opted for a longer spacing of 3 years between #2 and #3. And I am in heaven. I have never been so glad to be a Baby Buncher, a term my best friend and I coined for having our children less than two years apart. My two oldest function as a unit and keep each other entertained so I can spend endless hours holding, loving, and drinking in the baby. This time around, I hold him around the clock without fear of spoiling him because I know that eventually he will push me away so he can catch up with his brothers. Instead of rushing nursing sessions, I let them drag on for an hour while I smell him, rub his head, and kiss every part of his body. When he has an issue of some sort, instead of rushing to call the doctor or the pediatrician, I trust my own instincts on what worked or didn't work the other two times. Instead of rushing back to playgroups, I've holed up in my house for the past two weeks (and may take another week or two) to just enjoy getting to know the newest member of our family. I let friends bring us dinner. I let my husband play with the big boys. I let laundry and housework pile up guilt-free - I've realized that it will always be there, but these baby moments are so fleeting.

My husband and I have pretty much decided that this will be our last child, so maybe that's why I'm so sentimental this time around. Or who knows - maybe I'm in a honeymoon fantasy land and my bubble will be burst when my newborn "wakes up" (seems like it happened around week 3 with my other boys). Either way, I'll treasure these moments with my third baby forever. It seems I've finally realized what a true blessing and gift it is to be able to bring new life into the world.

Baby and Me

2008-06-29T21:58:00.003-04:00

In anticipation of Baby Boy #3, I signed Boys #1 and #2 up for the Baby and Me class at Northside Hospital. This class is designed to help Big Siblings -To-Be understand what to expect with a new baby in the house and how to "help" care for a new baby. Yesterday was the big day of the class, and hubby was out of town so that left the boys and I to go it alone. Boy #2 barely met the age minimum of 3 (ok, he won't meet the age minimum for three more weeks but they didn't ask for his ID and I didn't want him to feel left out so I fudged a little), so I was a little worried about how he would do. As it turns out, my fears were not unfounded, but he could've done worse.

Our first luck-out was when the instructor informed us that our class was the smallest class in the history of Baby and Me (it was just my boys and a 7 year old girl). The instructor seemed disappointed by this fact, but I am convinced that it was God's way of sparing other children and their parents the experience of "learning" with my children.

This one-hour, "fast paced" (as described in the course material) starts off with the instructor distributing a sibling scrapbook/coloring book and crayons for each child to take home for later. This was Instructor Mistake Number One. Boy #2 got sidetracked by the fact this his crayon box was slightly different than his older brother's and spent the rest of the class fixated on how to get crayons "just like my brother's". Halfway through the class, he finally let go of it and spent the rest of the class taking his Crocs on and off and trying to push his own stroller around the classroom.

Boy #1 (age 4 1/2), to his credit, paid attention and even seemed to absorb critical information! His attention only wavered when I busted out my camera to capture pictures of him changing a baby doll's diaper, at which point he insisted on using the camera himself to photograph every baby doll in the class.

The main points of the class can be summarized as:
-Don't touch the baby's umbilical cord stump
-Ask mom or dad to hold the baby
-Wash your hands before holding baby
-Sit all the way back in your chair to hold baby
-Tell mom and dad when you are tired of holding baby, don't just drop him on the floor
-How to change a diaper (I never would've guessed that with 3 and 4 year old assistants, I might be able to avoid changing a single diaper this time around!)
-Seeing an actual newborn baby in the nursery (the only baby available was a girl and my kids were unimpressed)

As a bonus, when you complete the class, you get a coupon for a free McFlurry at the Northside Hospital McDonalds. Since both boys were really good (for them), we hit the McDonalds and used one of our coupons to split a McFlurry three ways, pocketing the others for use when the baby is born. As we enjoyed our McFlurry, I asked each of the boys what their favorite part of the class was. Boy #1's response: "This is crazy! There's a McDonalds in this hospital!"

Boy #2 retained more than I thought, because when I quizzed them today on the tips offered in the class, Boy #1 could only remember to wash his hands and ask to touch the baby. Boy #2 busted out with "Wiggle, wiggle, bum to the back!" (the instructor's rhyme to help children remember to sit all the way back in their chairs when holding baby).

I would highly recommend this class for other, more focused Siblings-To-Be. There is even a more advanced, in-depth, 1.5-hour Baby and Me II for children ages 7 to 10. Check out Northside's class listings at http://www.northside.com/medical_services/Maternity_Parenting_Classes.aspx to register.

Boys of Summer

2008-06-03T20:46:00.002-04:00

It's officially summer in the Fox household. Even at this young age, my boys seem to sense the freedom that long, lazy summer days offer. They have this inexplicable pull to be outside, even in the sweltering Atlanta heat, and they are determined to dart out to the backyard every time I turn my back on them. They can be found, at any hour of the day where there is daylight (and often pushing into dusk), running around the backyard shoeless and sometimes shirtless, depending on the heat. There's no shortage of adventures to be had outside. We have a small fleet of cars and bikes, ranging from a Little Tikes motorcycle all the way to a tiny toddler BMW convertible. When they're not playing "cars", they're graffitting the driveway with sidewalk chalk. When things get a little warm, they fill up the water table and take turns either splashing each other or standing in it. In between, they take breaks for bubbles, matchbox cars, and Popsicles, occasionally running in the house to get more toys, snacks, or drinks. Pretty much the only time they stop playing in the backyard is when we pack up and go for a break from the heat at the local pool.

They've always been all boy, but this summer they seem to have a Tom and Huck air about them - hair sticking up, dirt smudged on their faces, scabby knees, bruised legs,and of course, dirty feet since they refuse to wear shoes for backyard adventures. They smell of sunblock and chlorine and their hands and faces are sticky from all the watermelon, Popsicles, and lemonade. They play like wild men all day and then collapse from exhaustion into bed at the end of the day.

Their enthusiasm for the summer is infectious. I've staked myself a spot on the screened-in porch underneath the ceiling fan where I can supervise their antics in a cooler setting. I sip tall glasses of lemonade and flip through a magazines while they play. I try to resist the urge to wipe dirty faces and feet every time they come onto the porch to show me something (usually a bug of some sort). I've officially given up on keeping the floors clean (thank goodness we got hardwoods this spring - no more carpet to worry about!), rolling up the area rug in our living room and resigning myself to the bits of outdoor debris that seem to migrate inside during the boys' cooling off breaks.

I know that by the time September rolls around, we'll all be ready for the routine of school again, but for now, it feels awfully good just to be experiencing the summer little boy style.

Buying Baby Happiness

2008-05-28T20:18:00.003-04:00

I must have a lot of spare time lately, because I have been reading like a fool for the past two months. Unfortunately, I have not been using this spare time to post on this blog, but I did stumble across the perfect blog topic the other day in the course of reading. A friend of mine lent me a copy of Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul - a quick read that's worth a flip-through for any parent with the perception of excess time.

The subtitle of the book says it all: How We are Sold on $800 Strollers, Fetal Education, Baby Sign Language, Sleeping Coaches, Toddler Couture, and Diaper Wipe Warmers - and What It Means for Our Children.

I found the topic of this book particularly interesting as someone who has always wanted a "lot" of children (defined by me as 4, defined by everyone else I know as more than 2). I have always been surprised by the number of our friends and acquaintances that were shocked to hear that we wanted more than 2 kids - most of them citing financial reasons as their main rationale for stopping at 2. This surprised me mainly because the bulk of them are solidly upper middle class (and still upwardly mobile).

It never occurred to me to stop having kids because they were too expensive. I figured that as long as we could provide for basic needs and a few luxury extras like the annual summer vacation, an occasional pair of the "right" jeans, and dance or karate lessons all around, we were golden. Kids have been sharing rooms and wearing hand-me-downs since the beginning of time - surely it isn't child abuse to expect the same of my kids? When I wanted a car at age 16, my parents sent me to work as a lifeguard at the local pool to earn the privilege. When it was time to go to college, I chose the state school (Hook 'Em Horns!) over the private school I wanted to attend and got accepted to (Go Irish!), mainly because it was about $23,000 a year cheaper. And I turned out OK, right?

But it turns out that what's good for the goose and the gander is not necessarily good for their gosling in this day and age. Parenting, Inc. explores why our generation is increasingly feeling like we can't afford children. Because we are constantly assaulted by advertising for products that we we need in order to raise our children to be not only successful, but competitive with the other overachievers of their generation that are being groomed as we speak. The book covers so many products, services, and classes available for tiny tots that I ended up skimming half of the book because my senses felt assaulted by all the overstimulation. Imagine how our three month olds feel when we toss them into a steady stream of Gymboree, Music Classes, Baby Einstein DVD's and Tiny Love Mobiles.

The book makes a valid point - that by raising a generation of children that are constantly stimulated by toys and activities and are accustomed to being the center of attention, we are setting them up to be a generation of kids that care about having things instead of relationships. In addition, we are denying them of the opportunity to develop any real creativity or problem-solving skills. Which, in turn, will result in children that are are restless and unhappy because they are so dependent on instant gratification. So in the quest to keep our children happy, we are, effectively, robbing them of the ability to create their own happiness. It's worth spending some time thinking about before you totally write off the idea of that third kid...

Busy Week

2008-04-29T22:27:00.001-04:00

Crazy week...cross-posting again. Check out my post on the recent study about the correlation between a mother's diet at conception and her baby's gender.

National TV Turnoff Week and The Washington Post

2008-04-21T21:43:00.002-04:00

Did you know that it's National TV Turnoff Week? Turn off the TV and check out my post about it on The Fox Factor.

Also, props to my friend and fellow mommy blogger Linda. She was invited to guest blog on The Washington Post parenting page today! The topic - bunching your babies (having kids close together).

Happy Earth Day 2.0

2008-04-20T21:43:00.003-04:00

Since my early Earth Day post a few weeks ago, I have been making steady progress on my Earth Day resolutions, including:

purchased separate recycling containers for my clean aluminum, glass, paper, and plastic recyclables and put them in my pantry rather than the garage, so i recycle more frequently
stopped throwing #5 and 6 plastics in the bin after I realized my city doesn't accept them and I (sadly) can't find anywhere in the area that does
purchased reusable cloth grocery bags
switched to the new eco-friendly green clorox all purpose spray
purchased a composting bin, which my husband has drawn the line at and insisted i return since he refuses to have rotting food in our kitchen or our backyard

I'm still working on that switch to CFC lightbulbs, but I've also been on the lookout for other opportunities to be more environmentally responsible. Imagine my excitement today to see an article in the Atlanta Journal Constitution on green mothering! As a result (check out the article to see why), I'm seeing both Jet Dry and vinegar in a whole new light. At the end of the article, there's a list of 25 ways to be a green mom - I was pleased to see that I am currently doing 10 of them. Plus I now have a list of 15 more ideas to pursue, including seeing if I can hang on to the composting container and pawn some of my compost off on my gardening neighbors. Thanks, AJC and writer Patti Ghezzi!

The Voices in My Head

2008-04-19T21:18:00.004-04:00

My oldest son has always been a man of few words. I worked with him on his conversational skills all last school year and felt that I had made substantive progress by the end of the year when I got him to say, "I don't feel like talking to you right now, Mommy" in response to my questions about school, instead of ignoring me and staring out the car window.

By the time summer rolled around and he still had nothing to say to me (or anyone else for that matter), I took him for a complete speech and hearing evaluation just to make sure everything was OK. Ears checked out fine, but the two-hour speech evaluation was a nail-biter. Cade hung in there with the flashcards, but didn't seem to want to answer any questions, like when the speech therapist asked him where in his house he plays. When she asked him for the ten thousandth time where he plays (I'm actually not even sure what response she wanted here), he barked at her in an exasperated voice - "Right here, lady!". She immediately ended the session, gave him a clean bill of speech health, told us that his primary problem was that he didn't WANT to talk to us, and gave us a nifty worksheet on tips for stimulating speech with preschoolers.

Fast forward a year. His little brother, who was extremely early verbal and a nonstop talker, has started to rub off on him. Basically this means that between the two of them, they never shut up. Despite my profound hearing loss and the fact that I sometimes ditch my hearing aids for a good portion of the day, my ears are actually tired at the end of the day - is that possible?

Here's just a sampling of the things I listen to all day and the categories of comments under which they fall:

Great Ideas
Cade: Lookit Drew - Matchbox cars go faster if we put water on the floor!
Drew: Cade! Watch me jump from train table to coffee table!
Cade: The scooter goes down the hill faster if you do it backwards.
Drew: Let's do sidewalk chalk on the side of the van!

Fights
Drew (sobbing!): Cade take my cars!
Cade: They're MY cars! (even though he never card one whit about cars until Drew took an interest in them)

Cade (while playing Candyland): You can't be green! I'm green!

Drew: Don't color on my page. That's MY page!

Tattletailing
Drew: Mommy! Cade tell on me!

Whining
Cade: But Mommy! I'm hungry! PLEASE let me have Cheez Nips for breakfast! I really, really want them!
Drew: But I want the Cars vitamins, not Flintstones!
Cade: Mommy! You know I don't wear shirts with buttons!

Attention Getting
Either Boy: Hey Mommy? (repeated a thousand times a day by each child and followed by either a question or a comment).

And my two favorite verbal development categories that have recently emerged:

Police
Drew: Mommy! Don't say "Eat your freaking vegetables"! Freaking vegetables is a bad word!
Cade: Mommy! You're supposed to slow down at yellow lights - it means a red light is coming!
Cade: Mommy! There's a drought! You're not supposed to leave the water on while you brush your teeth!

Court Reporter
Cade: But Mommy! Earlier you said we could paint when we got home from the park!
Drew: Mommy! You said we could watch a show when we got up from nap.
Cade: But Mommy! You said we could have a snack if we ate lunch. I ate all the fruit!

But on the bright side, at least Cade is talking now and saving me money on speech therapy.

My Rock Stars

2008-04-14T22:49:00.003-04:00

My husband is currently in school working on his MBA, which has caused him to regress and act more like a 19 year old than the early-30-something he really is. School is supposedly really challenging, but all I know is that he is gone from our house for over 40 hours a week, yet he is only taking 12 hours and he is now proficient in the video game Rock Band, which he was not when he started school. So who knows.

After months of him begging me to agree to purchase the XBox 360 and assorted Rock Band gear, I finally caved last week. He rushed right out and bought it, lest I change my mind, and proceeded to spend that entire night and most of the three subsequent evenings playing the game. I warned him that with such an expensive and obviously boy-friendly setup, he should take pains to hide it from our two sons. Unfortunately, he never listens to me and ignored the advice and the boys discovered it and are now OBSESSED with it. They call it "Rock Star" and they can't play worth a crap (after all, they are only 4 and almost 3), but that doesn't stop them from bugging the heck out of their father while the try to learn. Which I, of course, love.

My favorite part about it is that the first thing they beg to do every morning, before our eyes are even open, is to play Rock Band. Which of, course, only their father knows how to do. So I roll over to catch a few more zzz's and let him deal with the consequences of this idiotic purchase.

I had to laugh the other night when I headed off to bed and my husband surprised me by joining me, instead of staying up later to read like he usually does. When I asked if he was tired, he said, "No. But I figure I need to get to bed now - my band will be in here for rehearsal at 7 am sharp". Now that's what I call poetic justice.

Happy Earth Day - Early!

2008-04-08T22:25:00.002-04:00

Today, as we were driving past a residential construction site where they were cutting down trees to build houses, my newly minted 4 year old busted out with the following surprise comments:

Cade: Mommy, if they keep cutting down all the trees then they will cut them all down and we won’t have any more.

Me: That’s right, Cade, it’s very sad to cut down trees.

Cade: But it’s ok, mommy. The builders can just build some new ones and then we will have enough to make another woods.

Me (excitedly seizing a rare opportunity to make good on a “teachable moment”): Well, Cade, it’s not that easy. Builders can’t build trees – it takes a really long time and a lot of sunshine and rain to build trees. That’s why we have to take good care of the trees we have. And also, we can’t waste things like paper and cardboard because they are made from trees. That’s why we try to recycle.

Cade: Yes. We cannot wait a very long time for more trees. Mommy! I just found a piece of candy in my car seat! Can I eat it?

I was beyond excited about this brief, but poignant exchange about the environment. Mainly because after 31 years of really not caring much about the environment (No, I’m not a heartless ogre – I just work in social work so my main interest is people), I spent a good chunk of the summer in California last year and was bitten by the environmental bug. Impressed by how much they actually CARE about taking care of the environment out there, I really began to notice opportunities for me to make a small dent as well and have been making good progress over the past year. In addition, this month’s extensive Earth Day/Be Green media coverage in everything from my parenting mags to TIME and even the crappy Star and US weekly gossip rags has got me on high alert. After all, it may not feel like a big deal to do small things, but if everyone does something small, it can have a big impact.

So what have I done? Not much, but it’s a start and I have big plans.

Since last summer, I have made a renewed commitment to recycling and make sure the bins go out weekly instead of monthly (I used to let them sit around for two weeks after they were full and then trash recyclables just because the bin was full).
I took the time to look up my city’s guidelines about what they actually accept and recycle instead of just throwing things away because I wasn’t positive they could be recycled.
I took the time to gripe at my husband (yet AGAIN) for throwing wet paper and pizza-soiled cardboard in the recycling bin. These things are expressly forbidden by aforementioned guidelines. I think I have finally shamed him into listening to me…
I took FIVE YEARS (I kid you not) worth of plastic grocery bags that I have been saving and deposited them in my store’s recycling receptacle. In the process, learned that my store accepts egg cartons, which my city recycling program does not. Woohoo!
Took my old electronics to the city’s electronic recycling drive.
Purchased a programmable thermostat to keep our house at a reasonable setting. Husband (clearly not yet pro-environment) does get credit for this one.

What do I plan to do:

I have already identified a three part bin that I can put in my pantry that will allow me to sort paper, plastic and cans right here in my kitchen instead of trekking out to the dirty nasty bin in the garage every time. I plan to get it this weekend.
Commit to cloth grocery bags. I have been hesitant to do this thus far because it appears that the people that use cloth bags are only filling them with organic vegetables and only require 2 bags to carry their groceries. My heartily eating family blows through AT LEAST two loaves of bread, two gallons of milk, 15 boxes of cereal and heaven knows how many Goldfish crackers a week. Plus the laundry detergent required to clean them after they are covered head to toe in peanut butter and jelly. But if I have to embarrass myself buy bringing home 25 cloth bags a week of groceries, so be it. Better than wasting the plastic.
Convince husband to switch to CFC light bulbs. He actually requested that I present him with a cost-benefit analysis justifying the extra expense of the bulbs. I’ve seen it 1,000 times in magazines this month – just need to rip an article out and give it to him…
Identify a recycling place where I can take the things my city won’t accept. They only take plastics #1 and 2, yet almost everything I use comes in #5 containers! Heartbreaking to toss them, per the city’s recommendations. Need to find another option…(already tried to pawn them off on the preschool for crafts – didn’t work).
Finally commit to properly recycling batteries as well. I have been guiltily and surreptitiously throwing them in the trash (I know, I know). Must stop. NOW. Especially since my kids go through so many batteries that I regret not buying stock in Duracell.

What I would like to do but probably won’t:

Eat locally grown foods. I am lucky to get to the store once a week (which is why I have 25 bags of food every time I do go). No time to go multiple times or to multiple stores.
Start a compost. My husband has expressly forbidden rotting foods to take up residence in our kitchen. I think he is afraid I won’t “take care” of it properly, since I have killed countless houseplants and had to give my cat away once the children were born since I couldn’t manage it all.
Switch to cloth diapers. Too inconvenient and finally (after extensive research in numerous parenting magazines on this article) have convinced myself that the water and energy required to wash them outweigh negatives of dumping the disposables.
Wash all of my clothes in cold water. My kid is potty training and it just seems too filthy not to put things like soiled underwear and dirty sheets/towels in the hottest water I can to kill germs.
Walk to save gas. I messed this up by having too many children - I can't fit them all in the Radio Flyer wagon anymore. But hey - at least I bought a minivan instead of the gas-guzzling SUV I wanted! And maybe my next one can be a hybrid...

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

2008-03-29T08:29:00.004-04:00

Ok, when I had my kids close together, I knew it would probably be a couple of years before I was consistently getting a good night's sleep. But here it is, FOUR years later, and I am about to give birth to my third child, and the consistent good night's sleep still eludes me. Which means, I figure I am looking at about a combined total decade (at least) of crappy sleep. Nice. Now I will preface this blog by saying that because I have a severe hearing loss (which I never considered a mixed blessing until I had children), I often don't hear the cries for help until they have arrived at my bedside. Or at least, I pretend not to, I will admit on some occasions. So my husband assumes most of the night-time child rearing responsibilities once the nursing period has ended. So he gets major credit here. But he frequently travels for work, so I have plenty of opportunities to step up, too. Between the two of us, we are lucky to average a full night's sleep.

I'm writing this is a person who was blessed with good sleepers. DS #1 slept 6 hours through the night from the first day of his life. I am convinced mostly because I ignored the night nurse's orders to wake him and feed him ever 3 hours. I figured no almost 8 pound baby was going to starve to death in his sleep, so I went by his internal clock instead, and sure enough - he would eat every 2 hours after that stretch, but I could get a decent 6 hours of sleep out of him which by a new mother's standards IS "through the night". DS #2 was a little dicier at night, but still manageable, and quickly conformed to his older brother's 3 hour-afternoon nap schedule so I could get several hours in the afternoon to catch up on zzzz's if I needed to.

Once past the infancy period, both children slept fairly well, barring the occasional sickness or teething episode.

Yet here we are in toddler/preschoolhood and my husband counted getting up, between the two boys, SIX times the other night. And this has been going on, on and off, for awhile. Six times is fairly extreme, but I would hazard to say that someone is up at least once a night every night. They go to bed fairly easily, probably 5 nights out of the 7. But once down, they have issues staying down.

Why are they up, you might ask? Well, they suffer from what my husband likes to call "Constant Needs". Constant Needs range from "I Need to PeePee" (which even though I can do perfectly well by myself during the day, requires your assistance at 2 am) to "I Need Water" (which inevitably leads back to I Need to PeePee) to the vague and frustrating "I Need You" ("you" being whomever happens to answer the crying call - mom or dad). WTH!?!?!?

The ironic thing is, both boys sleep in the same room, in the same BED, but not one of their crying jags ever seem to wake the other boy, even though they cause mom and dad to shoot out of bed like rockets. So training them to help each other peepee and get their own water is out of the question. Ugh.

I have been wondering what we were doing wrong until a friend with two boys the same age (also expecting her third any day now) mentioned that her boys were up a million times the other night. So is this some kind of age-stage thing that otherwise self-sufficient, potty trained, water self-servers go through? And I just happened to be unlucky enough to have two of them in this stage at the same time? Anyone have any stories (or advice!) to share on this topic?

I am so sleep scarred that last night I spent the night in my parent's house (sans children - I am in Houston for a wedding) and I woke up THREE times on my own, not including the time I woke up for the day at 6:45 am because I thought I heard a child yelping. Now, I will admit that one of these times was pregnancy bladder related, but I am seriously wondering if I will need to seek sleep counseling when this is all over. Help - anyone have any tips for getting them to sleep through the night without medication? : )

Let the 2008 Spring Cleaning Challenge Begin!

2008-03-18T21:01:00.002-04:00

It’s that time of year again! For many, spring is not only a time to get outside and enjoy the warmer weather, but also for spring-cleaning! For me, spring has always been a time to get outside and enjoy the warmer weather, reflect on all the spring home projects I WANT to do, and then spend a lot of time feeling guilty that I don’t do any of them. Our home improvement efforts came to a screeching halt four years ago when I committed to spend the bulk of my time either pregnant, nursing, or potty training.

This year, I was inspired by the organizational blog of a fellow mom blogger. She posts photo documentation and an item count of her efforts to purge her house of unwanted stuff. Inspired not only by her ability to stick to this program with three kids, but also by the fact that her house (bless her heart!) makes mine look like The Container Store made me realize that if she could do it, surely I could.

As I mentioned the blog to two friends today, they expressed a strong interest in doing it as well and even offered to provide email encouragement/accountability. We all agreed that we wouldn’t be able to stick to photographing or counting items, as it would take us so long to do it that we could probably organize another cupboard in the same timeframe. However, a little “organizational challenge” between friends couldn’t hurt motivation, right?

I decided to kick off the challenge tonight because:

I went to my friend’s house for playgroup at 11 am and didn’t leave until 4:30 which means I had a great day with friends but accomplished NOT ONE THING.
My friend Julie just painted her house and the freshly painted walls made me jealous.
My dining room, entryway, and stairway walls are so covered with handprints and skid marks that I can barely tell their original color and this makes me crazy on a daily basis.
My kids went to bed early so I wasn’t so exhausted that I wanted to drop by time I bade them goodnight.

So I selected touch-up paint for these areas as my first project.

Once I busted out all the painting gear, I found that the project went surprisingly quickly. I gave myself 100 points for covering each of the three areas because painting is a bigger pain in the neck than just decluttering. And then I gave myself 10 bonus points for using up the last bit of two different paint colors and then throwing the cans away. Another 5 bonus points for studiously logging the paint colors, brand, numbers, and finish in my new home improvement organizer before tossing them. Lest you think that I am perfect or a braggart, please know that I docked myself 2 points for painting over items that looked suspiciously like boogers. In my current squeamish pregnancy stomach state, I couldn’t bring myself to either A) conduct a further inspection to determine actual content or B) scrape/pick said objects off the wall before painting. So I just camouflaged them a little.

So I'm off to a roaring start. The real question is if I will be able to stick with it. Stay tuned for periodic updates. If you don't hear from me, it means the challenge was short-lived. I'm counting on my friends to help keep it alive...

The Mommy Diaries

2008-02-29T22:07:00.004-05:00

After we put the kids down tonight, I was able to score some "me" time in front of the TV with my latest Netflix selection - "The Nanny Diaries". For those of you that haven't seen this movie, it is worth a watch. I read the book years ago as a newly minted mom and loved it at the time, but honestly couldn't remember how it ended this evening. I started the movie with the usual book/movie expectations (the book is always better!), but I'm not sure if it's because it's been so long since I read the book that I forgot key comparisons or if the movie is actually GOOD, but it was one of the best movies I've seen in awhile.

Particularly relevant for me was the timing of the movie. Having spent the past four years trying to find the perfect work/family balance with a job I absolutely adore, I recently made the decision to leave my job to stay home full-time with my kids. This was difficult for me, given that from Day 1 of my freshman year of college, I made educational and career choices with the distinct goal of building a career that would allow me to "have it all" and balance work, home, marriage, career, and (as a lover of children) more than the average 2.5 children.

Unfortunately, even with the ideal work setup - a wonderfully flexible boss that let me work anywhere from 15 hours to 30 over the years since I've had children, telecommuting privileges, and the most amazing team of co-workers one could ask for, it just wasn't working out for our family. And did I mention that I also have a nanny sent directly from heaven? I actually went through a long progression deciding to quit, wondering if I couldn't make the ideal employment situation work, how would I ever be able to achieve the Holy Grail of Motherhood for My Generation: Work/Family Balance?

I am excited, but scared to death. Even working just part-time has kept a piece of the "me" I had before I was "mommy" alive. No matter how out of control things get at home, I can go somewhere where I am still smart, organized, and recognized for my contributions. At home, although I will have the distinct pleasure of being the one to drop off and pick up my sons at pre-school (one of the the things I hated missing most because of work), I will not be recognized for exceeding pickup time goals or benchmarks. As a classic overachiever, it kills me to think that all the years of AP classes in high school, internships and part-time jobs in college, and professional effort will be for naught when I am relegated to the position of Head Party Mom. I wonder if I will lose my intellectual and competitive edge, if I'll fall behind on industry trends, if "they" (the people in my industry) will forget about me, and if I'll even be able to get back in the workforce when I want to go back. Still, with the demanding responsibilities of my job, a husband starting a job with significant travel, and a third child on the way in August, I realized something had to give.

Not too long into the movie, I was joined by my youngest son, who was having some problems getting to sleep. Bored and lonely because his brother had sacked out long ago, he finally materialized next to the couch begging to "snuggle up" with mommy. As a mom of two boys, I don't often get a request to snuggle up, so I overlooked the bedtime-stalling manipulation tactic and we settled in to watch the movie together.

As I struggled to watch the movie around his head, he squeezed my nose, rubbed my cheek, and patted my hair while I rubbed his tummy. It was one of those rare, sweet parenting moments (at least with boys) where we were just enjoying being together, sweetened all the more when he said, "I love you, Mommy." We snuggled there, just the two of us, and he drifted off in my arms while I finished the movie. And at the end, I received an important reminder from the infamously horrendous Mrs. X in the movie, that "Of all the privileges I have, being the mother of (my sons) is the most important."

Granted, this Upper East side, 24/7 "me time" mommy wasn't struggling with the same balance issues that most of us do, but you get the point. So benchmarks, goals, and budgetary targets be damned, I know that I am privileged to have the choice to spend more time with my sons and I plan to enjoy every second (or at least as many of them as I can). In a few years, they won't ever ask to snuggle, they won't care if I pick them up from school or not, and they'll probably be too embarrassed to say they love me. So I figure I owe it to myself to soak up all of those things that I can now - it's all too fleeting. The professional challenges and achievements will be waiting for me when I come back. And I will be back. As an older and wiser mom who's been there recently told me, "You CAN have it all. You just can't have it all at once."

The Joys of Toys - Or Not?

2008-02-26T22:10:00.004-05:00

For two kids who are both boys born into the same family within a span of less than two years, my children could not have more different play styles. My oldest has never really had much use for "traditional" toys, preferring instead to inspect and disassemble an assortment of electronics ranging from DVD/VCR players to Dustbusters and vacuums to keyboards/computers to cameras of all kinds (digital, disposable, and video). In the absence of an electronic, he prefers mostly to loll about on the floor, sucking his thumb and staring into space waiting for Clown Mom to suggest the next exciting and engaging (and preferably art or electronic-related) activity.

My second child needs only a few dozen matchbox cars and some sort of container (lunchbox, Ziploc bag, backpack, even an old coffee can will work in a pinch) with which to carry around said cars EVERYWHERE he goes.

Yet in an effort to stimulate, engage, and educate them, we have two entire bedrooms (and their respective closets) filled with train sets (and a train table to play them on), Little People playsets, Playmobil, Legos, board games, puzzles, oversized cars and trucks for outdoor play, a rocket ship playhouse, and a Little Tykes kitchen. That's not including two complete bookshelves filled with children's books and an entire linen closet devoted to art supplies. We have more educational toys than most school districts, yet "cars" and "wandering aimlessly in search of electronics" are the favorite games in our household.

I was a bit worried, until a friend whose children have similar play habits forwarded me this recent NPR article. The basic premise is that by forcing commercialized and structured play (read: toys and structured activities) on our children, we are compromising something critical to our children's emotional and cognitive development: imaginative play. The argument is that more forced and structured play leads to a decrease in self-regulation and private speech (telling oneself what one is doing) - both critical to healthy development.

I always used to wonder about the parenting skills of my grandmother, God bless her, who had four children in 26 months (a set of twins in the midst). My mother claims that when she was a child, if it wasn't a school day where she was walking both ways uphill in the snow, then she was home and her mom would throw all four children out into the woods to play, allowing them to come in only for meals and then bath and bed. My mother doesn't recall Tonka trucks, a sandbox, a water table, or the Pottery Barn rocket ship playhouse being a part of the outdoor playscape (nor was there a video surveillance camera to fend off child molesters and kidnappers, but it was a different time, I guess). It was simply the four children and what the woods had to offer. That's the way it was, and they liked it (anyone ever seen that Saturday Night Live skit about the Grumpy Old Man - if not, I guess I am older than I think I am!)

In fact, imaginative play has been around for eons - longer than toys, for sure! Back in the day, children made their own toys instead of ignoring the million dollar mini-toy stores their parents dutifully stocked in their bedrooms. And they sat still in school. And there were less behavior problems in school and less crime after school. And probably less kids on medication for ADD.

Now don't get me wrong - I love a great toy as much as the next guy. And no, I can't back up the claims made in the paragraph above because I am too tired to chase down the research and it may not even exist, but it is extrapolated from other research mentioned in the article.

But what this article did for me was make me re-think the way I approach my children's playtime. Maybe they don't have to be engaged in structured activities every second. Maybe left to their own devices on the kitchen floor, they will come up with something even better than the art classes I have to offer - like "Monster", which I caught them playing the other day (chasing each other with outstretched arms and roaring). So my new goal is to chill out a bit and see where a little bit of free time leads them. As long as it isn't into the dangerous, unfenced, unsupervised woods behind my house...at least not until elementary school.

Recently Discovered Treasure - The Coffee Park

2008-02-17T22:26:00.003-05:00

This week we discovered a new hangout and I cannot say enough good things about it! A friend discovered The Coffee Park in East Cobb and it is THE BOMB (and worth the hike to East Cobb). This brilliant concept is the brainchild of a mom who had two children under two and boy, don't I wish I'd thought of it myself. Actually, I often dreamt of it, I just never DID anything about it so kudos to her!

It's a full-service coffee shop with an indoor playground for kids up to age 5. Best part - it is cheap and the staff takes your kids off your hands for you! For $5 per kid and only $1 per additional sibling, you can hang out for several hours. They take your kids into the play area (behind a baby gate so they can't escape and an ID system so no one else can take them) while you sit and talk with friends, work on computer, or just stare into space. The food is mom and kid friendly (everything from cappucinos and paninis to PB&J) and very reasonably priced.

But what really makes this place a hidden gem is the staff in the playroom. I peeked in periodically to see how my kids were doing and witnessed my oldest lobbying to exit the play area and come bug mom. Instead of taking the easy way out and letting him come to me, as many staff at facilities like these do, the staff actually attempted to re-engage him in play. When I peeked in a few minutes later, they had him rolling on the floor with laughter and having a good time with a new activity. The only time they came to get me was when he needed to go to the bathroom and he was happy to return to the play area afterwards.

One caveat for moms of "older" (i.e. older 3's and 4's) kids - the play area is definitely targeted towards toddlers and may seem a little basic to preschoolers. My youngest (2 1/2) was happy because there was a train table and my oldest (almost 4) because his friends were there, but I can definitely see that I need to space our trips out or the novelty will wear off and I won't get TWO AND A HALF HOURS of peace and quiet again!

If you get a chance, try it out - it is the perfect outing solution for moms with closely spaced little ones who often find it difficult to manage them in places like the park, children's museum, and zoo. My only regret about visiting The Coffee Park is that I wish I'd known about it sooner!

NOTE: I don't know the owner and I wasn't paid to say any of this. I just want to give her some free publicity out of gratitude for the several hours of peace and quiet she gave me!

Doing Disney Toddler Style

2008-02-05T22:14:00.001-05:00

So apparently the holiday travels weren't as traumatic as we thought because a few weeks after New Year's we decided to brave the ULTIMATE trip and take the boys to Disney again. The story of how this idea was born is a long one, so I'll spare you, but here's what it boiled down to. We had the most amazing time.

My friends were in disbelief that we were actually attempting this feat for the second time in less than a year (without the grandparents this time, no less) and they all wanted to know how it turned out and what the scoop was for "doing Disney" with toddlers. And I learned some new stuff to share this time! So here goes:

Because of the last-minute decision to go and astronomial airfare, we drove. Again. And I must say, I think the worst part of the trip was the drive there and back. But this could just have been because we have travelled approximately the same distance from here to the moon by car since the beginning of December. I think they were over it.

Last time we stayed an an extended stay hotel with a kitchen suite, which was really awesome. This time (a budget trip), we stayed in one of the super affordable, kid-friendly Disney All Star Resorts. I cannot say enough positive things about this place and we will stay in one every time until we win the lottery and move over to the Grand Floridian. I will say that they are definitely budget rooms. The towels (which you use for the pool and the shower) are thin and postage-stamped sized. The beds are not the most comfortable. The parking is halfway across the universe from some of the rooms in the mega complex (although we were far from our car but close to the pool!). But these drawbacks are all offset by the pluses. My favorite things about the Disney All Star Resort:

In true Disney fashion, spotlessly clean with hyper-friendly/helpful staff.
Massive pools with vigilant lifeguards! Seriously, in three summers of swimming with my kids I can't remember the last time I saw a lifeguard that was actually GUARDING my kids! These Disney guys are on it. Don't forget your swim diapers/plastic pants - they are required.
Food court with wide variety of kid-friendly foods (and healthy options as well).
For $12 or something like that, you can purchase an insulated Disney mug that you can refill unlimited times during your visit (only at the hotel) with soft drinks, lemonade, hot chocolate, coffee, and icees (my kids' personal faves). Plus, if you keep it with you at the parks you can fill it up at water fountains rather than lug around 15 bottles of water.
On-site video arcade. My kids are still young enough that they don't care if you have quarters to actually make it GO. They will fake speed-race each other for hours.
Free shuttle that leaves every 20 minutes to/from all the parks and Downtown Disney. SUPER convenient. We had planned to drive to the parks so we could be on our own timetable, but a friend said the shuttle was easy as pie and it was!
On certain days of the weeks, certain parks open early or stay open late ONLY for people staying on Disney properties. This alone made it worth the stay at this hotel. On the Magic Kingdom extended hours day, we went to the park, came home for a nap when the kids meltded down, went back at 6 pm and closed the place down at 11!

OK so now onto some of the other handy dandy tips we learned this time:

Always go to Disney in the middle of January. There is NO ONE there. The longest we waited for a ride was 10 minutes. Seriously.
Unless your child is in junior high, always bring a stroller. Ours are almost 4 and 2 1/2 and we debated only bringing one because usually both of them want to walk (or run!). We ended up throwing in a second cheapie umbrella stroller at the last minute and we used the both all the time - especially getting around the massive hotel grounds! Since we brought inexepensive ones, we didn't worry about leaving them parked for hours at the park while we did rides or having them get wet in a short downpour that occurred while we were there.
Which brings me to my next lesson: bring rain slickers, sunblock, and hats for everyone and shove them in your backpack. The weather turned on a dime and we were caught in a downpour, but I busted out our handy-dandy rain slickers and we kept on trekking. They sell them at the parks for a fee, of course, but if you can remember - bring your own!
Ditto with snacks/lunch for the kids. We packed fruit leather, goldfish, and PB&J for the kids, which allowed us to feed them when they were hungry (during peak lunch line hours) and buy us some time to eat later, during off-peak hours. Less time wasted waiting in line.
Don't forget your camera. If for example, your husband packed the camera but for some absolutey ridiculous and inexplicable reason left the camera BATTERY in the hotel room, it will cost you $19 to buy a disposable one. No joke.
If the kids are melting down, go back to the hotel and rest. This is when your extended hours pass comes in handy!
There is an infant ride/wait feature, which we didn't use since the lines weren't long. This means, for example, that Mom can ride Space Mountain while Dad waits in a special area with baby and then they can switch without waiting in line twice. I'm not sure what the "infant" age limit is on that...
Finally, do NOT ride Stitch's Great Escape. In this 4-D experience Stitch will belch a hot dog on you and it is absolutely sickening. Our 4 year old, who adores Stitch, is scarred for life.

Long Time, No Post

2008-01-08T21:50:00.001-05:00

I have no idea how many people actually READ this blog, so I'm not sure if my readers have been disappointed or even noticed that I haven't posted in almost two months. I have only one really lame (but true) excuse: the holidays absolutely kicked my butt this year.

For the first time since having children, we traveled for both Thanksgiving AND Christmas this year. Once by plane and once by car. And since I am a glutton for punishment, we threw a New Year's Eve party too. Do not even ask me what I was thinking - I really don't know.

Our family is scattered all across the country and we have none in Atlanta (or anyone closer than an 8 hour car ride). So we are used to traveling - no big deal. When our oldest was born, we just strapped him on one of our backs and his carseat on the other back and continued traveling. When our second was born just a short 17 months later, we dropped everything and stayed home. For two years.

After a tentative but successful short trip to Disney World this past spring break, we decided that it might be safe to hit the road (and skies) again. Just in the nick of time, as the summer necessitated travel to California (for my husband's job) and Mexico (for a semi-annual family vacation with extended family). Success again! We quickly made plans to spend Thanksgiving in Utah and do a tri-state Christmas (Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio), covering pretty much every living family member in the course of a month. Success once more, but boy am I pooped! Being on the go for the holidays added a whole other element to pulling them off. I've decided it is way easier to stay home and cook the turkey (including all the cleaning, shopping, and table setting that is involved in hosting the presentation of the turkey) than it is to fly across the country to eat the turkey someone else has lovingly prepared.

However, I continue to be proud of what traveling little troopers my boys are, because I understand from some friends that their children are not so much the happy travelers at this age. It's a little late for holiday travel tips, but maybe some of you are planning a spring break vacation. I'd thought I'd share some of the top tips I've learned (through trial and error) for traveling with little ones. I'll skip the usual ones you read about (ask for the bulkhead, pack a change of clothes for everyone in your carry-on, bring a bag of toys that are new to your child for distraction purposes, etc.) because you probably already know them. A few others....

1) Get a portable DVD player.
2) Get a portable DVD player.
3) Let go of mommy guilt about letting your child watch 5 consecutive hours of Shrek on portable DVD player. Once a year won't kill them.
4) ALWAYS bring a stroller. But not a good one, because the airlines will lose it or break it. Get a cheapy umbrella stroller and if you have multiple kids close in age, get TWO. Or a double. In a crowded airport or amusement park, you can guarantee yourself that there will be moments when you want everyone strapped in and pinned down. Do not kid yourself into thinking that your almost-four-year-old is big enough to walk. He is - but he's also big enough to run when you're not looking.
5) If your baby is over age one and under two and you have to buy an airline ticket anyway, bring a carseat. They are so antsy at this age - you will be glad to have a way to strap them down.
6) If you are driving, plan on stopping at least every 2 to 3 hours for at least half an hour at a fast food place with an indoor playground. Make your husband understand that his days of "making good time" are OVER. It is now all about keeping everyone sane.
7) Always pack your own snacks - it is way cheaper and healthier. Pack mostly good stuff (including PB&J in case your flight is delayed over a mealtime), but throw in a junk food treat for a desperation moment where you might need a distraction.
8) If you're all cramming into a hotel room and the bathroom is big enough, consider pitching the baby's pack n play camp in a bathroom or large closet. This creates the separate room that many babies (and parents) need to sleep comfortably without actually requiring you to purchase a second room.
9) Even better, consider an extended stay hotel or a suite that has a small kitchen. Multiple bedrooms/sleeping areas and a place to prepare simple meals/snacks equals traveling success for little ones and parents!
10) And our best travel tip so far - travel with or to see the grandparents whenever you can. Free babysitting plus an extra bedroom to stash one of your kids in!

Counting My Blessings

2007-11-18T22:06:00.000-05:00

This week was a landmark occasion in the Fox household - we got to visit with BOTH grandmothers in one week. With my family in Texas and my husband's in Utah, visits with our parents are carefully orchestrated. While the in laws get along famously, since we see each other so infrequently everyone tries to space the visits so that the grandmothers see the children on alternating trips. This way they each have time to hog the kids to their hearts content without stepping on each other's toes.

Because we spent Thanksgiving with Bubbe (Aaron's mom) and Goopy (my mom - long story on the origination of the name) came to visit for her birthday in mid-November, we had the rare pleasure of a solid week and a half worth of grandmothering. I personally enjoy these visits for two reasons - free babysitting, of course, but more importantly - I get to see my kids in a new light.

The past three years of our lives have been a whirlwind, to say the least. We have been eating, breathing, and sleeping (or not) diapers, formula, baby gear, baby proofing, and baby puking for what seems like a very long time. It has been absolutely exhausting. Worth every moment, but exhausting nonetheless. When Drew was a tiny baby, I remember holding him and trying to MAKE myself slow down and savor every moment. But I was just too tired. And too busy trying to hold it all together.

Enter visits with the grandparents. With someone to play backup, we can sneak a respite from the constant caregiving. To have date nights. To sleep in. To go to the bathroom uninterrupted. To relax and unwind a little. To (gasp!) ENJOY our children.

In the grandparents' eyes, the boys can do no wrong. Cade's repeated pleas to play Elmo on computer make him "goal oriented and persistent" instead of annoying. Drew's crayon marks on the windowsill become a "creative use of art medium". When they sass me they are just "testing boundaries and asserting independence". Their refusal to eat any dinner that isn't mac and cheese make them "selective" eaters, not finicky ones. Drew's 50 million piece jigsaw puzzles strewn all over my living room floor at all hours of the day encourages the fact that he is "advanced in spatial orientation". Cade's obsession with changing batteries in every toy we own shows his "mechanical inclination". My mother even went so far as to correct me when I joked that he was in training to be an auto mechanic someday - huffily informing me that his fine motor skills were far better suited to brain surgery.

But all joking aside, their constant marveling at how smart, creative, unique, energetic, independent, and GOOD the kids are make me forget for a time that they are also messy, demanding, wild and defiant at times. It allows me to slow down and really savor the small joys in life through the eyes of my kids - Cade's love of fountains, Drew's love of animals, and their mutual love of each other - and of me. During these visits, they whine less, act out less, and demand less. Probably because I give them more of me.

So this Thanksgiving, I am grateful for the miracles of my children. And their grandparents, who are responsible for this blessing in more ways than one.

Fall Fashion Week

2007-10-20T21:32:00.000-04:00

One of the best parts about having boys (and two boys close in age!) is that they are MUCH easier to dress than girls. I am a definite girly girl and adore girl clothing, which means that dressing a little girl would quickly become all consuming for me. I am notorious among friends and family for my poor shopping decision making skills. I started shopping for my prom dress my sophomore year of high school. No joke.

I am the type of mom that would hit every store in town (and the next town over, just to be safe) looking for the "perfect" Christmas/Easter dress and end up buying two because I couldn't decide (rationalizing that one dress couldn't be worn to church every Sunday all season anyway). Then I would start the whole thing all over again to find the perfect accessories for both dresses.

With boys I can knock it all out in one day. The Target Easter outfits look just the same as the Gap ones and the Gymboree ones and so on and so forth. This allows me just to pick the Target ones and be done with it since the boys are boycotting collared shirts anyway and I will be lucky if I can even get them to leave the precious little seersucker suits on for just ONE HOUR for church and pictures. And really, how excited can I get about the minor variations in boys' clothes anyway (essentially boils down to heaviness of corduroy fabric, placement of cargo pant pockets, and wash of denim)?

Fashion Week in the Fox household goes much the same every year in both the fall and the spring. It has four phases:

1) Drag out all end of season items bought on sale last year and bins of hand me downs and determine what can actually be passed to younger son. Since children will not allow me to try the clothes on to see what ACTUALLY fits, wait until they are sound asleep so I can lay them out spread eagle and lay clothes over them like paper dolls to see what is long enough.

2) Attend our preschool's consignment sale to troll for play clothes and deals on big ticket, rarely used items like Halloween costumes and winter coats. End up getting sucked into buying $50 worth of toys as well since I am trying to keep children entertained long enough to let me shop.

3) Finish up the next day with the semi-annual pilgrimage to the Dawsonville outlets (sans children), bearing in mind that Gap and Gymboree run big, Children's Place/Talbot's Kids runs a little small, Old Navy/Target shrink quite a bit after washing, and Carters/OshKosh make my boys look like girls. Wonder why the mall has a playground and who are all these dads at the mall since my husband would sooner carry our minivan over hot coals barefoot before spending an afternoon shopping with me and the boys. Intend to stop into a few stores for myself, but instead collapse of exhaustion from trying to visualize which size of each brand/item each of my children will need.

4) Be thankful I do not have to go shopping for Easter dresses tomorrow. Repeat next season.

Target Market: Generation Z (or do they have a name yet?)

2007-10-16T22:01:00.000-04:00

As a non-profit administrator with degrees in social work and public administration, I know NOTHING about marketing or branding. But I am rapidly learning, since my job description for running a small non-profit includes the roles of Chief Financial Officer, HR Director, VP of Fundraising, Clinical Director, and yes - Marketing Director. I've spent the past two weekends at a crash course in marketing at the University of Georgia's Continuing Education program. The class really made me see brand recognition in a whole new light, especially when we played a game that required us to draw two random cards featuring well known brands and present a brief plan on what would happen if the two brands crossed. The most entertaining presentation crossed John Deere and Weight Watchers - I kid you not.

But understanding more about how marketing folks target me made me think about how they are targeting my kids as well. Even though they can't read yet, my kids can very easily recognize logos for products such as their favorite cereals, Dora the Explorer yogurts (no - they don't even WATCH the show, but they love the yogurt!), Baby Einstein products (yes - they do watch the shows, but hey - now they recognize the books and flashcards too!), the Chick-Fil-A cows, and even Home Depot and Publix. They aren't old enough yet to respond to the Saturday morning cartoon commercials, but they can make a pretty convincing case in the store for Dora over the Publix generic yogurt cups. A 2005 University of Michigan article states that small children have a $50 BILLION annual influence over their parent's spending. No wonder companies spend so much time trying to figure out how to get inside the mystical minds of tots! That explains why anyone at Pepperidge Farm ever thought that rainbow colored goldfish were a good idea.

One of the reigning brand kings is Google, where my husband had the good fortune of interning this summer for his MBA program. Google hands out swag to employees like other companies hand out business cards, so in just three months he amassed a pretty impressive collection of t-shirts, water bottles, notepads, keychains, and every other product known to man. But still, imagine my surprise when this morning my TWO YEAR OLD pointed at dad's tshirt and said, "Is that Gooble, Daddy?".

Now THAT'S brand recognition.

More Cade and Drew Isms...

2007-10-16T21:31:00.000-04:00

The (sometimes unwitting) sophisticated sense of humors that toddlers have never ceases to amaze me. Their latest:

Me: Time to clean up, guys! Let's get going!
Cade: A little music would really help me here.

Drew (pointing at Aaron's Google tshirt): Is that Gooble, daddy?

Drew: Come here, Cade!
Cade: Wait a second! I'll be there in 10 minutes!

Drew (looking at pot roast on dinner plate): I don't eat meat, mommy. I don't even try it.

My favorites are the ones that are at my expense...

Me: Cade - come over here, please.
Cade (walking around with soda can koozies on both ears): I can't hear you, mommy! My hearing aids are broken.

Drew: Oh no! Spilled milk on the floor! Can you take care of that, mommy?

Baby Einstein: Your Breast Friend?

2007-10-10T20:51:00.000-04:00

In honor of Breast Fest, a virtual movement that encourages moms (and dads) to blog about the right to breastfeed in public on October 10th, I thought I'd dedicate today's post to nursing with two under two. For my political commentary on this topic, check out my personal blog.

One of the greatest obstacles I faced when I brought my second son home from the hospital was breastfeeding. What had been the easiest, most natural thing in the world with my first son was an absolute nightmare with the second. Mainly because I was chasing after a toddler who was so young that he didn't even appreciate my attempts to "buy" nursing time with a Baby Einstein video. As it turned out, the video could not hold his attention long enough for me to feed his brother anyway. That on top of a baby with a lazy suck and a mommy with a low supply (no time to drink water=low supply=just as well since I don't even have time to pee so probably shouldn't be drinking alot of water anyway - you get the point).

Those first weeks are so crucial for baby (re-gaining birthweight) and mom (establishing supply) that for any mom friend of mine facing this situation, I try to share what I wish I'd done differently:

Call in reinforcements. Have dad take that paternity leave, fly grandma in, hire the neighborhood teenager, use preschool, whatever. The mom of newborn thing will be old hat to you and you will feel comfortable with baby. As a second time mom, you probably even cook dinner the night you get home from the hospital. This time, rather than sleep/meals/laundry, you need someone to be the Toddler Clown Show so you can focus on baby! This was my single biggest mistake. A friend of mine with boys the exact same ages sent her oldest to preschool every morning for the first few months. Don't you know she made it a LOT longer breastfeeding the second than I did!
Strap big baby in the booster seat during feedings (at least then you know he is safe so you don't have to keep popping up to check on him when he leaves the room) and ply him with crayons, toys, raisins, and crackers.
Have special "nursing" toys that come out only during feeding time. These could be certain books, puzzles, PlayDoh, puppets, trains/cars, etc.
Settle big baby next to you with a doll (he or she can pretend to nurse/feed too) or a book (drag it out - talk ALOT about the pictures).
If worse comes to worst, try TV. You may nurse 8 times a day in the beginning but your toddler will be sleeping for some of them and if you have to park him in front of Baby Einstein for 20 to 40 minutes a day for a few weeks until you get the hang of things, it's not the end of the world.
Get a sling. You can wear tiny babies while you're nursing and still have free hands to make PB&J for the big baby!

I tried a few of these in a half-baked manner but was so frazzled that I didn't have the presence of mind to really fully implement some of these ideas (several of which I heard after the fact from friends in the same boat). Here's hoping this helps others be more deliberate in their plan of attack! Cheers, babies!

PS - Almost forgot my most important piece of advice. I am very pro-breastfeeding (if it works for mom AND baby), but if it doesn't work out, do NOT beat yourself up about it. I agonized over this for four months, finally giving up when my husband insisted that it wasn't worth the daily dose of tears I endured trying to balance the pumping/supplementing/cajoling baby to nurse game. I stopped at 4 months with baby number two and wouldn't you know it - this formula-fed baby turned out to be just as happy and healthy as his older brother!

A Walk in the Park (or the mall...or the zoo...or the airport...)

2007-10-04T22:27:00.000-04:00

I am a self-confessed stroller junkie. Throughout my 3 1/2 years of parenting, I have owned NINE strollers. Not including the two-seater Radio Flyer wagon with the seatbelts and cup holders. I collect strollers like other women collect handbags and at one point, my husband told me that I was absolutely NOT allowed to purchase another stroller until I got rid of one already in the stroller stable (formerly known as our garage). He put the same moratorium on my Halloween decoration collection, but I digress. This summer, I spent a good bit of the summer in San Francisco, where the stroller of choice is the super-stylish (and pricey) Bugaboo. Bugaboos are a very rare sight here in Smyrna and pathetically, I was more star struck by the chance to see a Bugaboo up close than I would've been had Brad Pitt walked up and kissed me on the lips. Pathetic, I know.

Now that my youngest is walking (running!) well, I primarily use my strollers as restraint devices for the rare occasions I am forced to take both children to the mall by myself. Like with any addict, my habit is hard to break. I actually experienced pangs of disappointment a few months ago when American Baby magazine did their stroller review and I realized I had missed on the super cool new Kolcraft Contours double stroller with swiveling seats. Bummer.

Believe it or not, I actually had valid reasons for purchasing every single stroller and used them all, but had I known that what I know now, I might have done things differently. I frequently get asked for stroller, especially double stroller, advice from friends who know how much I love my wheels. Rather than repeat myself a thousand more times when asked this question, I thought I would record what I've learned for posterity here or the fearless moms that will follow in my footsteps and need the skinny on strollers.

Naturally, there are several different types of strollers, ranging anywhere from the $10 umbrella variety to the aforementioned $900 Bugaboo and more! As with most other things, more expensive does not always mean better. A few thoughts for consideration on each variety of stroller:

Umbrella - A must-have, in my mind, especially because they are so inexpensive. Your baby can use this stroller as soon as he can sort of sit up and they are absolutely ideal for amusement parks and airplane trips since you will not care if they get stolen, lost, or beat to heck by careless luggage handlers. Some come with sunshade attachments, which are nice if you are going to be outside. They're not the most comfortable to "drive" for taller people (I am one, and this is my number one complaint about this breed of stroller), but I have seen ones with extended handles to accommodate taller parents.

SnapNGo - This is actually just a fairly inexpensive stroller frame (about $40) that you can pop your infant seat into and go! If I were doing it over, I would have done this. By the time your baby outgrows his infant seat, he is more than big enough to move into the umbrella stroller which is compact, portable, and cheap.

Single Stroller - Standard, garden variety stroller. In addition to comfort and a sunshade for baby, look for the all important cup holder for mom and a good-sized deep cargo bin. You will need a place to stash your 10,000 pound diaper bag AND all the stuff you buy at the mall. When I bought mine (my very first stroller), my husband and I test drove every stroller at BabiesRUs and hands-down decided on the Peg Perego Aria for its lightweight frame. There are other lightweight models out there and this should be a consideration as well - you may very well have to hoist your stroller into the trunk with one hand while holding your baby in the other arm.

Travel System - Essentially a stroller that includes an infant seat (car seat, for the uninitiated) in a matching print. And you can usually get a matching playpen, swing, etc. etc. We discovered a nifty trick when we bought our stroller - many infant seats are compatible with many strollers, so you do not necessarily have to commit to a travel system if you fall in love with another stroller. We ended up with a Peg Perego stroller and a Graco infant seat, which was half the cost of the Peg Perego infant seat and snapped in just perfectly! Also, if you absolutely LOVE a stroller and it is not compatible with any infant seats, you can always do it the old-fashioned way and (gasp!) unbuckle the baby from the car seat and buckle him into the stroller. Even very tiny babies can go in strollers as long as the seats recline, but be sure to look for a 5 point harness in the stroller if you are planning to do this.

Jogging Stroller - These are handy if you run/walk on trails or gravel or if you walk in your neighborhood a lot. We ended up buying one when our Peg couldn't navigate the sidewalk cracks or the railroad tracks in our neighborhood - the jogger provides a much smoother ride for baby. If you are actually a runner, invest in a super-lightweight running stroller since you will be running with baby and stroller. Otherwise, BabyTrend makes a great model for like $80 and we loved it so much we ended up buying a used double version of it later (I know, I know...I told you - it's a sickness! ) The reason you can't just get a jogger instead of a single stroller is because joggers are wider and heavier and difficult to navigate in crowds and crowded stores. If you are going to try to get one stroller to do double duty here, look for a jogger with a front wheel that unlocks to swivel - allows for better control over steering.

Double Stroller - Come in umbrella, jogger, and "regular" versions. Come in side by side and front/back models. Most moms I know seem to prefer front-back because they are easier to get through doorways and keep your kids from picking at each other. But they drive like 18 wheelers - I think the side by sides are easier to navigate. Look for one that's narrow enough to get through doorways, but even then, don't expect to be able to get it through most children's clothing stores at the mall, which are notoriously overstocked! These strollers are big, but just like your minivan, they come with all kinds of features - infant seat-compatibe, swiveling seats, stadium seating, and the uber-weird looking Phil and Ted's, where one kid actually sits UNDER the other, out of sight. Talk about a great way to keep them from bugging each other!

Triple Stroller - Can't speak to this - thank goodness I have not had to go there!

SitNStand - Again, wish I would've taken this shortcut from the beginning when my second was born. It's a two-seater stroller that actually has a bar attachment that allows you to configure the front seat for an infant seat. There is also a standing board in case the child in the rear prefers to stand. This also comes in a triple version (not good for triplets though b/c one child has to stand...). Support kids up to 50 pounds EACH, I think, so your toddlers can ride for awhile!

One final tip for you. Shop around a little and do some test driving, but before you run out and pay full price for your dream buggy, scout out consignment sales in the area or Craigslist (or even eBay but be prepared to pay shipping). Sometimes, for whatever reasons, moms use strollers for just a short time and then look to get rid of them (to fund their next stroller purchase, perhaps......). But seriously, I have purchased 4 of my strollers and unloaded 3 of them this way, so it is a great way to save some money in this area.

Anyone else have anything to add? There's nothing I love more than a good stroller story!

Are We There Yet?

2007-09-27T15:41:00.001-04:00

This morning on the way to the gym, I was almost T-boned by some jerk running a red light at probably 60 miles an hour in a 45 mile an hour zone. Worse than that, this is the SECOND time THIS WEEK I have almost been hit by someone running a red light in addition to the idiot that tried to change lanes into my lane when he was only halfway past my car. All near-miss accidents with both of my kids in the car and less than a mile from my home. Which shouldn't be a surprise since we've all heard the statistic that almost a quarter of accidents happen within a mile of home.

Appropriate car seat safety has always been a pet peeve of mine, but it is not a user friendly obsession. Months before Cade was born, Aaron spent an entire afternoon in the driveway installing infant seat bases in each car, only to get to the fire station car seat check and have the inspector shred his work. Another non-surprise since she told us that 80% of car seats are installed incorrectly. Further, she instructed us to come back once the baby was born so she could ensure proper shoulder strap/breastplate placement. A college degree in engineering is no match for a car seat.

Because we know that we are both such poor installers, for the first three years of Cade's life, EVERY TIME we moved car seats or added a baby, we took both cars to the fire station to have the installation checked. There is a reason there was a 3 month wait to get your car seat checked - The Fox Family was hogging all the appointments.

And then came preschool. All of the sudden there were carpools and pickups of extra children and other moms picking up my kids and for the sake of convenience, my hard line approach to installation fell by the wayside. I would think to myself, "They're just going across the street - what could happen?" Until this week and my 3 near misses right here in the neighborhood, which has given me pause on who transports my children and how. And how responsibly I transport other people's children.

Today, as I crossed myself and said a little prayer of thanks for the third time in a week, I vowed to do these four things:
-Look left and right every time I head into an intersection instead of letting the stoplights put me on autopilot.
-Take my van over to the fire station for a car seat checkup - it's been almost a year since the last one and we've moved seats several times.
-STAY OFF THE CELL PHONE. It is scary when you arrive somewhere and realize that you don't remember anything about your journey to the place. In my mind, hands-free sets are worthless because it's not my hands that cause me to be distracted while I'm chatting on the phone and driving - it's my brain. Therefore, until they invent a brain-free phone, I'm staying off of mine.
-Slow down. My husband is forever making fun of me for my lead foot accelerating and braking style. Which I defend by saying that I have so much to do that I am always in a hurry. But that doesn't make sense. Speeding doesn't get me there faster and where am I going, anyway, that's so important? When I leave 10 minutes earlier than I think I need to, I am a MUCH better driver.

My experiences this week remind me of the age-old parenting adage issued to teenagers - "It's not you I don't trust - it's the other guys on the road!". I have realized the true meaning of that in recent days. And it has definitely made me realize the weight of my responsibility to be fully present and aware of what is going on on the road, whether my kids are toddlers in their car seats or teenagers behind the driver's seats.

NOTE: The Governor's Office of Highway Safety provides a listing of car seat check stations in Atlanta at http://www.gahighwaysafety.org/atlantafire.html If you're outside the city of Atlanta, check with your local fire station, hospital, BabiesRUs or even some car dealerships. You can also check out this site at http://www.carseat.org/

Atlanta's Top Ten for Tots

2007-09-24T22:57:00.000-04:00

For my inaugural post on this blog (and since it is an ATLANTA parent blog), thought I would recycle something I wrote a few weeks ago for my personal blog since I've gotten great feedback on it from my friends. After 3 years of parenting in Atlanta and verbally reviewing the different sites around town for various friends, I finally sat down and compiled my "Top 10" (okay, 16) list of places to go/see/do with little ones. Whether you've lived here for awhile or you're new to parenting in this city, hopefully you'll learn from my mistakes...

Gymboree
Pros: Air conditioned, very well baby proofed, great for first time moms because the baby classes include ideas for things to do with your baby and Mommy discussion time. We are still in touch with our friends from my oldest son's Gymboree days.
Cons: Not cheap. Difficult once you have a second child because it is twice as not cheap and little sibling are neither welcome nor encouraged in a big sibling's class (classes are divided by age/ability).

Music Class
Pros: Air conditioned, songs on CD are only marginally annoying, second child can come for free up to like 4 months old or something.
Cons: "Ba, ba bup bup bup bup baaaaa" rhythm song will NEVER leave your head.

Library Story Hour
Pros: FREE! Air conditioned. Fosters love of reading.
Cons: Libraries, by nature, require a certain level of decorum that my children are not capable of.

Little Gym
Pros: Opportunity to practice stunts in safe environment. In the air conditioning. Can you tell the heat bugs me in the summer?
Cons: Expensive

Art Classes
Pros: No mess at my house.
Cons: My children seem to bypass the paints, crafts, metal sculpturing and other cool stuff and head directly for the markers, which we have at home. $10 an hour per kid buys a lot of markers.

ChuckECheese
Pros: Toddlers don't care whether the rides "go" or not - $5 worth of tokens will last hours. They also don't care that the pizza tastes like cheese covered cardboard - there is a salad bar for moms. They stamp your kids' hands at the door to prevent kidnappers from leaving with someone else's kids.
Cons: A little overstimulating - hard to supervise multiple kids depending on the layout, what with all the moving rides, loud noises, and blinking lights. Also, no hand stamp checking to get into the bathrooms, so it's not an entirely molester-free zone. I always have this fear that the hand stamps cause predators to target ChuckECheese for a challenge. Irrational, I know. But that's part of my charm. : )

Kangazoom/Monkey Joe's/Jumping Places
Pros: An air-conditioned way to wear them out for an affordable price.
Cons: Can get a little rough when school-aged kids are around - take toddlers in the mornings while big kids are in school.

Preschool
Pros: You get to leave them there! Without you! Plus they learn stuff.
Cons: They close for the summer.

Playground
Pros: They are everywhere. You could hit a different one each week for forever. I never,ever thought I would spend so much time touring playgrounds.
Cons: It's too freaking hot for this in the summer!

Swimming Pool
Pros: Nice cool place to hang out in the summer and you can bring your lunch and camp out for the whole day.
Cons: Not so great for crawlers or early walkers - I found it exhausting to try to keep my kids from killing themselves on cement at this age. Also, I am not hot about teenage lifeguards who seem to spend most of their time twirling their whistles and inspecting their own tan lines. I feel justified in saying this because I was a teenage lifeguard at one time so I know how they think. Do NOT plan to go to the pool and leisurely read magazines while lifeguards "watch" your kids. Keep a vigilant eye on the wee ones at all times. No one is watching them but you.

Children's Museum
Pros: Air conditioned. Free for kids under 2, I think. Worth buying an annual family pass once they turn 2 if they like it.
Cons: The Atlanta one has kind of an open format, making it difficult to supervise multiple children at once by yourself. And the "security" guards are apparently guarding the gift shop, not children - they will let your kids waltz right out without you.

Zoo
Pros: Atlanta zoo is nice sized - not too big, not too small.
Cons: HOT. Do not attempt this activity in the summer. Also I personally think the food is a little gross so we always bring our own lunch. Individual admissions are expensive, so buy the annual family pass once your kids are old enough that you have to pay for them.

Aquarium
Pros: World class aquarium! Right here in Atlanta! We saw the Monterey Bay aquarium this summer and Atlanta's holds it's own against this one.
Cons: Expensive. Get an annual pass if you think you will go a lot. Also, they check your bags for food so don't plan on bringing your own lunch.

Yellow River Game Ranch
Pros: Exotic animals right here in Lilburn!
Cons: It will cost you more to feed the animals than to get in. Bring your own carrots, apples, peanuts, crackers, etc. Bring your own picnic lunch as well, but the playground is a death trap for toddlers so steer clear unless your kids are school aged.

Botanical Gardens
Pros: Awesome children's garden with a fountain.
Cons: The rest of the gardens are cool too but it is impossible to enjoy them with my kids in tow. Perhaps parents of more mellow children have better luck.

Burger King/McDonald's/ChickFilA (indoor playground variety only)
Pros: Air conditioned, economical, one stop shop. Food, activity, chair for mom, free refills on Diet Coke, what could be better?
Cons: Why do my kids always get lost in those stupid indoor playground tunnels?

I know I've left stuff off and I'd love to add new sites to my repertoire - anyone else out there got any faves to share?